


Don’t Let Me Down

by squiggid



Series: Snapshots of the Karasuno Boys [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asahi Is A Scared Boy, Break Up, Fear, Getting Back Together, Guilt, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiggid/pseuds/squiggid
Summary: Nishinoya’s smile reminds Asahi of how he used to make him smile, before he messed all of this up, before he couldn't see past his own fear and insecurity.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Series: Snapshots of the Karasuno Boys [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798606
Comments: 8
Kudos: 104





	Don’t Let Me Down

It's been a good ten minutes since the end of the practice game with the neighborhood team, but Asahi can still feel the throbbing pain of the ball against his hand. He can still feel the wind rushing past his ears when he leaps in the air, and he can still hear Nishinoya yelling at him from behind him to keep going, keep hitting the ball, even when there's that seed of doubt in his heart every time he sees the blockers on the other side of the net rise with him. Every time his heart catches in his throat, Nishinoya's voice chases away his fear, clearing a path for him to push through and hit that damn ball with all the strength he can muster.

Nishinoya, who's here right in front of him, gulping down water from his sports bottle. The way the sun hits the sweat on his face and lights up both the dark and the light parts of his hair—he’s the perfect mascot for their team, a crow, always ready to fly wherever he needs to be.

He's the perfect member of their team. Not the ace, not Asahi.

Sighing loudly after the long drink, Nishinoya squirts a stream of water from the bottle onto the top of his head. He shakes his head furiously, grinning with his eyes closed.

Asahi’s heart flutters at the sight. Nishinoya’s smile reminds him of how he used to make him smile, before he messed all of this up, before he couldn't see past his own fear and insecurity.

Is it possible to go back to that?

"Nishinoya."

The boy looks up. His eyes glint in the setting sun, and his grin quickly fades into a taut line. He’s always so easy to read, even when he's cautious.

It's a new look on him. Asahi's used to the grins or the scowls, but not this new uncertain look, unsure of whether Asahi will let him down again.

Guilt swallows him up from inside at that look.

Letting out a nervous laugh, Asahi brings his hand up to the back of his head. "I really messed this up, didn't I?"

Nishinoya doesn't say anything. He just lowers his gaze and follows the rest of the team to the locker room.

—

Unknown territory is one of the hardest concepts for Asahi to grasp. It's part of what scared him so much about the iron wall, not being able to see a clear path to the other side. It's what makes him lose his voice when he sees Nishinoya outside of practice. During practice, they communicate fine, they communicate the necessary amount, but as soon as they step off the court and Nishinoya gives him that guarded look again, uncertainty consumes him, and words disappear from his tongue.

"Don't worry," Suga says one day with his usual soft smile. "He'll come around."

Asahi hopes so, but he can't see it—and that terrifies him.

—

The game with Nekoma is a refreshing burst of energy that Asahi didn’t think he’d ever feel again. The exhilaration, the drive, the teamwork that pushes them forward for just one more point, one more ball, one more spike.

Everyone feels the same energy, and it makes them light on their toes and laughing, even if they lost three games in a row.

“Asahi-san!”

A hand hits his lower back, and Asahi turns around to see Nishinoya smiling up at him.

“It’s good to have you back.”

Asahi’s heart skips a beat. There’s so much he wants to say, but it gets jumbled and lost in his mind, so he resigns to a formal, “It’s good to be back.”

Nishinoya grins, and it’s that smile that makes everything come rushing back. All the feelings he tried to push away, all the warmth bubbling up past the hard slate of hurt and denial. The way they used to walk home together and stay over each other’s places after practice. The soft words, looks, and touches they used to share.

He wants it all. He wants it all again.

Nishinoya turns to leave, but with the energy from the game sparking some confidence in him, Asahi catches the back of the boy’s shirt.

“Nishinoya.”

Nishinoya pauses and turns to meet Asahi’s gaze. The excitement from his eyes quickly fades into an open sort of hesitation when he sees Asahi’s quickly deteriorating confidence.

He tries. He really does. But it’s too much. 

“A-ah, never mind,” Asahi stammers, letting go of Nishinoya’s shirt.

Nishinoya still stands there looking at him—clearly trying to decide what to do—and then finally says, “Walk home with me.”

Asahi blinks twice and stands up a bit straighter, allowing himself to feel the beginning flickers of hope and a wave of relief. That’s right, Nishinoya was always the one to take charge. Thank god for that.

“Okay,” Asahi says, not trusting himself to smile just yet.

—

The walk home is familiar. They haven’t walked the same way home after school in weeks, but Asahi’s feet move on their own accord, following the path from memory.

A light conversation falls between them. It feels like they haven’t talked in years, even though they talk every day during practice, coordinating plays and communicating positions. There’s a difference between exchanging words and talking. 

Finally, they arrive at the front of Nishinoya’s house. The conversation falls flat as neither of them can ignore the elephant in the room anymore.

Asahi looks down at his friend, who’s staring at the front of his house with an intensity he’s only seen when Nishinoya’s getting ready to receive a serve. Even with his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pulled into a frown, he still looks good.

“Asahi-san,” Nishinoya starts, still not meeting the other’s gaze. “I can only do this again if I can believe in you. I have to know you won’t give up on me again.”

Finally, he looks up. His look is hard, the same as when he’s about to step on the court. There’s a determination in his eyes that Asahi can never mimic—but he can do his best to try.

He’s terrified. Of course he’s terrified. But the only thing stronger than that dark, swirling fear inside of him is his desire to never disappoint Nishinoya again.

Asahi nods. “I won’t let you down.”

Just like that, Nishinoya’s stern look breaks into a wide grin. He pulls Asahi down by the shirt, stands on his tip toes like he always does, and just barely reaches Asahi’s mouth. Just like he used to do, Asahi scoops him up and lifts him so that Nishinoya’s legs can wrap around his waist, even if the boy’s squirming and demanding to be let back down.

No, Asahi won’t let him down. He’ll never let him down again.


End file.
